It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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