Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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