I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
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