Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize