I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
