Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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