People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
