Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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