Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
