so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
