he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
