just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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