Me. At least after what I've been through.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
