wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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