i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
