like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
