Dual....:-)
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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