Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
