Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
