she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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