I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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