need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just tell him i said nine months
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
