Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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