i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
