kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize