Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
