I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
