YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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