I CAN MOONWALK!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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