Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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