My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
