About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
