I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
