That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize