Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
