Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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