Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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