So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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