My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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