apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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