Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
