oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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