Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
