There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
