is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
