Quick, to the slutcave!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
