This is not my ceiling
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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