okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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