I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So much Jack, so little girl.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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