he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
