Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
