i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
