Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize