wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize