About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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