I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
