why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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