There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
