Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
