I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
