I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
smell my finger.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
