i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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