If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
