I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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