Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
