he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
