im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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