Barsexuality is the new black.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
