There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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