My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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