Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
