So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
