My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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