That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
