I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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