Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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