Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
