so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
