The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
