Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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