I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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