I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
