You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
