Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
