I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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