Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
