the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
