I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
