you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
